Regular Show Goes BC
by gojirules
Summary: Muscle Man's latest mishap lands the park workers in the ancient world of the dinosaur age.


(mordecai and rigby are playing video games while benson , skips , and hi five ghost help pops move a couch to the basement when muscle man walks in with a time machine)  
muscle man : yo bros , i just bought a time machine

benson : yeah , so

muscle man : i'm gonna use this baby to go back in time and interview the roman emperor nero , and i think you guys should come along

skips : eh , we got nothin' else to do

pops : i concur , this trip should give us a break from moving my couch

benson : whatever

(they all gather in the center of the room)  
muscle man : alright bros , prepare to have your minds blown (turns the time machine on and accidentally types 68000000 BC instead of 68 AD , and they all travel back 68000000 years)  
hi five ghost : hey , this isn't the roman coliseum

rigby : uh , muscle man , what time did you put in the time machine

muscle man : 68 AD bro , what , ya think i don't know my eras

(mordecai grabs the time machine away from muscle man)  
mordecai : no , you put in 68000000 BC

benson : 68000000 BC , but that means ...  
mordecai : DUDE , YOU SENT US BACK TO THE AGE OF DINOSAURS

muscle man : i'm sorry bros , but i just wanted us to spend some quality time together

hi five ghost : even though you sent us to the wrong time period

mordecai : and look , the batteries are dead

muscle man : oh yeah , the guy who sold me this thing said the batteries were running low

benson : great , now we're stuck here

muscle man : no worry bros , we just have to find another power source and fix this thing up

hi five ghost : and we better do it before THEY show up

everyone except five five ghost : they

(they hear a roar)  
mordecai : we better get moving

(they flee the area)  
(after walking for a few hours , the park workers stop in a mountainous area)  
skips : ok , we should stop here for the night and continue in the morning

muscle man : yo bros , i just found a cactus , we got water babies

benson : i don't know

(muscle man munches on the cactus , but immediately spits it out)  
muscle man : that cactus was horrible

skips : just try to get some sleep , we'll start again in a few hours

*everyone goes to sleep*

(muscle man wakes up after 4 hours when he starts seeing things)  
muscle man : hey guys , i'm startin' to feel weird , i think i'm freaking out

rigby : uhhh , ok

muscle man : whoa , this is cool , it's like , it's like everything looks all weird and (sees rigby and the others change colors) and it's like there's all these weird shapes and , it's sorta like , it's like , it's like a music video (sees rigby turn into a strange zombie-type creature , then melt as smaller versions of him crawl out and dance) hey , what are you doing , cut it out , what's going on (sees a zombie playing a guitar) whoa , there's a problem here (sees himself as a zombie , then sees himself get dragged away , then sees all sorts of demonic stuff , then sees demon versions of himself and the others dancing and headbanging , then finally sees a demon snake swllow a demon dragster)  
(the next morning)  
Mordecai: *wakes up* wake up dude

Rigby: ugh, it's morning already?  
Mordecai: yeah, we gotta go find power source

(they get moving)  
rigby : hey mordecai , muscle man says he saw things last night

muscle man : oh yeah , there were all these monsters and zombies and demons , it was pretty cool , you guys were there , but you look monstrous too

mordecai : well , no time to worry about it now , we gotta get back to our own time

rigby : (points at the sky) hey maybe we should ask those guys for help

(they all look up to see pterodactyls flying overhead)  
skips : ugh we're getting out of this land and we're going to do it together , everybody , hold hands , we can do this , we have to

rigby : whoa whoa whoa , i'm not holdin' hands with any of you yahoos

skips : JUST DO IT

rigby : alright alright , no need to get testy

(they all hold hands and walk out of the area)  
Mordecai: so, what's this gonna do?  
skips : we have to stick together if we're gonna survive out here

benson : (sighs) i can't believe this , i'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with complete idiots

skips : this is no time to be complaining about your petty problems benson

Mordecai: hmp hmp

rigby : (to benson) serves you right

benson : pffft whatever

(they continue on)  
Mordecai: I'm bored

rigby : wanna play punchies

mordecai : alright

(they play punchies , and mordecai "lets" rigby win)  
rigby : HA , I KNEW 1 DAY I'D BEAT YOU

skips : knock it off back there you 2

mordecai and rigby : sorry

rigby : ok , now i'm hungry

muscle man : i wish i had brought snacks along the way

benson : well , i did bring a ham sandwich (gets it out and finds it's been squished)  
mordecai : that broke your fall when you tripped on that rock

hi five ghost : well , i brought a grilled ceese sandwich on cheesebread

(the park workers are happy)  
hi five ghost : but a bunch of raptors took it

(the park workers are upset)  
rigby : i think i know what to do , i watch survival shows

(a little while later)  
mordecai : crickets , nuhuh , i'm not eatin' crickets

rigby : just eat 'em ya big baby , and you don't even wanna know where i got the water , trust me

(giant crickets fly out in front of them)  
rigby : (with a surprised look on his face) guess the crickets in this time are larger than the crickets of our time

mordecai : now what genius

Rigby: I don't know

benson : great , now we have no food , no water , and no shelter , now what do we do

skips : cool it , we just have to stick together

hi five ghost : well , the important thing is we're still alive , hungry , exhausted , and lost , but alive , and we're still a team , i know muscle man can get us out of here

Mordecai: true . . . if we get eaten alive by a T rex, we'll all die together

rigby : i guess i'd rather get eaten alive by raptors together with my friends than suffer slowly without my friends

mordecai : i'd rather be dancin' with some babes

rigby : hey

mordecai : just yankin' your chain

Benson: how will Muscle Man get us back?  
muscle man : haven't you been listening bro , we have to find a new power source for the time machine on the other side of the land

Benson: oh yeah.  
skips : alright , let's get a move on before the sun sets

*they keep on looking for power source*  
(rigby sees some kind of substance stuck to the edge of a tree)  
rigby : hey guys , look what i found (takes some of the substance and licks it , but immediately spits it out) tastes like rotten giraffe meat , oh , i feel whoozy

Mordecai: dude, you probably shouldn't have tasted that, it could be extremly dangerous,

Muscle Man: you should try to lay down and relax

rigby : i have a natural curiosity

benson : wait a minute , i don't think this is poisonous , this was made by something

Mordecai: ok, but what? maybe it could be a power source like what were looking for

muscle man : i doubt it , we need electricity bro

hi five ghost : uh , guys

(they all look and see a t rex charging toward them)  
mordecai : run

(they all run and the t rex gives chase)  
rigby : what do ya know , our 1st chase in the dinosaur age

(they stop at the edge of a cliff)  
mordecai : there's the edge , on 3 , 1 , 2 , 3

(they all jump and the t rex catches up and jumps as well)  
rigby : we made it

(the t rex makes it to the other side as well and the landing causes muscle man to drop the time machine down the cliff)  
muscle man : the time machine

benson : great , now we're stuck here forever

mordecai : we better run

(they all run to the mountains several miles from there)  
skips : i think we lost him

(they continue on)  
Mordecai: *sigh* so much for going out with CJ, I promised I would go to the movies with her, and now cause of Muscle Man I probably stood her up

muscle man : it's not my fault that big stubby armed lizard knocked the time machine outta my hands

skips : alright alright , bickering's not gonna solve anything , our mission now is to get to safer ground

mordecai : i guess you're right

benson : ok then let's get moving before that thing comes back

(they all walk off in to the sunset and later that night they set up a campfire)  
mordecai : i don't know

(a couple hours later)  
rigby : i wanna go home

mordecai : we can never go home riggs , we lost the time machine , we'll spend the rest of our lives in this reptile land , forever , but at least it's warm around the fire

rigby : yeah (hears a roar in the distance) i'm scared mordecai

mordecai : no more nice warm beds

rigby : huh

mordecai : no more grilled cheese sandwiches

rigby : (gasps)  
mordecai : no more getting paid

(rigby sucks his thumb)  
mordecai : no more cj , no more movies , no more fist pump , no more eileen or video games or hair to the throne , no more anything

(they all cry)  
rigby : i want ice cream

(they all continue crying)  
mordecai : (sniffless) but it doesn't have to be all bad , right (sniffles again) , i mean , at least we have eachother

hi five ghost : yeah

mordecai : and all that travel is good for your buns and thighs , right

(a picture of a imaginary muscular german man shows up , wearing nothing but blue and white spotted boxers)  
imaginary bodybuilder : ya , buns and thighs

(back to fire scene)  
muscle man : and the bitter cold , it's bracing isn't it

mordecai : yeah , maybe roaming the prehistoric world can be fun , we can live by our own standards

muscle man : yeah , and we can run free

mordecai : and we don't have to shave

rigby : i'm way ahead of ya buddy (lifts his left leg , showing it very hairy)  
mordecai : and ya get to talk tough (impersonating a western outlaw) this town ain't big enough for the 2 of us

hi five ghost : uh , here , let me try , uhhh , hey punk , hahaha

mordecai : and the best part is now that we're in the prehistoric world , we don't have to pay for anything we want

everyone : (jumping up) YEAAAH

rigby : (to muscle man) and we owe it all to you

muscle man : what are you talkin' about , buyin' a time machine was your evil plan

rigby : doh , i'm nothin' but alota talk , you're the 1 with the sticky fingers

muscle man : awww , rigby , you're the best prehistoric outsider ever

rigby : you too

mordecai : oh , and of course everybody else , we can't forget them

skips : nahh , you guys are being modest , but thanks

(they all hug)  
rigby : i wish we had something to eat , though

mordecai : (taking 7 chocolate bars out of his pockets) look what i've got

muscle man : RECTANGLES

mordecai : not just any rectangles , candy bars

muscle man : ohh

mordecai : all we have to do is make 'em last the rest of our lives (gives 1 to muscle man)  
muscle man : thanks mordecai , i think i'll eat it now (takes 1 big bite of the still wrapped chocolate bar , finishes the rest , and then sighs)  
Rigby: *nibbling on chocolate*  
rigby : probably should've told us about the candy bars sooner

mordecai : yeah , but i thought i'd save them for a moment of revelation like we just had

Rigby: hmp hmp,

benson : well , i guess we take what we can

hi five ghost : i'd like to propose a toast to our new lives , who knew after all we'd been through together , we'd begin a new life in a new era

everybody : here here

(a monoclonius suddenly appears and charges at the group , who runs , then a daspletosaurus appears from behind a rock and fights the monoclonius , eventually winning by ripping it's throat apart with it's jaws)  
muscle man : guess we should find a new rest spot

everybody except muscle man : yeah , that'd be a great idea

(they go to find a new rest spot and find 1)  
skips : ok , i think we put enough distance between us and that creature

(they set up another campfire)  
Mordecai: were safe now.  
(mordecai and rigby hi five and muscle man and hi five ghost do the same)  
pops : good show jolly good show

benson : ya know , this era would be better if there weren't creatures trying to eat our bodies

muscle man : i don't know , getting chased is pretty exhilarating

rigby : yeah , and being in a era with those creatures is thrilling as well

hi five ghost : gets your adrenaline flowing , ya know

mordecai : but at least we survived

rigby: yep

skips : well , we should all get some sleep , we'll continue travelling in a few hours

mordecai : wait , somebody's gonna have to stay awake and guard the campsite , i guess that's me

skips : no , i'll handle it , i'm stronger , besides , no offense , but you're not all that strong

mordecai : alright then

(the park workers get to sleep while skips stands and guards)  
Mordecai: *dreaming about going out with a cave girl for some reason*  
rigby : (dreaming about fist pump)  
muscle man : (dreaming about driving a garbage truck)  
hi five ghost : (dreaming about demons)  
pops : (dreaming about the end of the world)  
benson : (dreaming about lightening up)  
*raptor's trying to attack skips*  
(skips punches a raptor in the face and the alpha male claws at skips's pant leg , but skips punches him in the eye and he runs off , with the other raptors following him , and skips returns to the campsite)  
Raptor: *tries to hurt Mordecai*  
(skips grabs the raptor by the tail and slams it in to the side of a tree , shattering it's ribs , and the raptor limps away to join the other pack members)  
skips : he wasn't so tough (returns to his post)

*the next day*  
mordecai : i dreamed i went out with a cave girl

rigby : i dreamed i met fist pump

muscle man : i dreamed i drove a garbage truck

hi five ghost : i dreamed there were demons

pops : i dreamed the world was destroyed

benson : i dreamed i loosened up

rigby : (to skips) what about you , did you do anything exciting

skips : oh , just fought off some raptors , no biggy , and i noticed something strange about the raptors's leader

benson : what

skips : it looked like it had been maimed

mordecai : was it you that did the maiming

skips : neh , it was already maimed

hi five ghost : so

skips : so , it must mean something bigger must've attacked it , and it must've been what attacked us yesterday

rigby : what gave you that idea

skips : because as that t rex chased us , i noticed it had a scar on 1 of it's teeth

benson : just get to the point

skips : so , if those raptors were attacked by that same t rex , then that means the t rex must be somewhere around here , pursuing the raptors to finish the job , and that means we have to get to that safer ground before the t rex OR the raptors catch us

mordecai : ok then

(they move on , but are soon happened upon by a bull gorgosaurus , whom skips punches in the jaw , then a juvenile albertosaurus appears and attacks the group , only to be run off by muscle man , who punches it in the snout , but as the albertosaurus gets a mile from where the park workers are at , the t rex that attacked the park workers grabs it by the snout and mauls it to death)  
(back with the park workers)  
benson : getting to that safer ground is gonna be harder than we thought

skips : we just have to stick together , now let's get moving

(they get moving)  
Rigby: so you had a dream of going out with a cave girl?  
Mordecai: yeah, weird

Rigby: I know right?  
Mordecai: yep

hi five ghost : hey dudes , look what i found

(they go to where hi five ghost is)  
mordecai : eggs

hi five ghost : yeah , enough to make several omlettes

benson : uhh , i don't think that's such a good idea

muscle man : why bro

(benson points at a large male daspletosaurus , which charges at them until they get a certain distance)  
rigby : see , it wasn't trying to kill us , it was just trying to keep us away from it's eggs

muscle man : how did ya know

rigby : lucky guess , anyway , moving on

(they move on)  
skips : the safe ground should be just beyond those mountains

everybody except skips : alright , yeah

Mordecai: YEAYUH

(their celebration is cut short by the sudden arrival of the t rex)  
everybody : AHHH , THE T REX

(the t rex smiles and growls as if saying "did ya miss me" , then does it again as if saying "now where were we")  
mordecai : EVERYBODY RUN

muscle man : no , i'm tired of runnin' , if we run now , we'll never stop ...  
(the t rex smacks muscle man toward the side of a cliff with it's tail)  
muscle man : RUN BROOOOOS

(everybody runs as the t rex gives chase)  
muscle man : mordecai , be careful

(the t rex snaps it's jaws at mordecai repeatedly whilst chasing him , and rigby jumps on the t rex's eye)  
rigby : get away from my friend

(the t rex swats him away and corners mordecai , and prepares to devour him)  
mordecai : NEVERRRRRRRRR (jumps to a rock dramatically) yeah , i did it

(the t rex bites the rock , sending it toppling)  
skips : i got you mordecai (catches him)  
mordecai : thanks skips

(the t rex threatens to eat them)  
mordecai : uh thanks alot

(the t rex roars in defiance and prepares to eat mordecai and skips , but pops kicks it in the eye before it can)  
mordecai and skips : thanks pops

pops : don't mention it fellas

(meanwhile , benson has made wooden stakes from fallen trees and sees the t rex chasing the other park workers)  
benson : over here

(the park workers go to where benson is as the t rex follows , not noticing the wooden stakes in front if it , and walks right in to them , impaling it and killing it and causing it to land on benson)  
muscle man : we did it

(the park workers cheer and celebrate)  
pops : but wait , where's benson

mordecai : benson

rigby : benson

benson : (from underneath the t rex) somebody get me outta here

(skips pulls benson out from underneath the t rex)  
benson : thanks (returns to the rest of the group with skips) well , looks like we won , and the safe ground is just up this mountain

(they all climb the mountain and get to the safe ground)  
Mordecai: awesome, I'm glad were safe now

Rigby: hmp hmp me too

(a few months have passed since the defeat of the t rex , now the park workers have set up a agricultural settlement)  
benson : hey mordecai , do you think anybody will find out we're gone

mordecai : somehow it doesn't really matter anymore

(the park workers begin a new life in the prehistoric world)


End file.
